Things that Would Make my life easier: aka my life as Jane Jetson

Just some "pie in the sky" wishes...

1. NO MORE DOG HAIR: Now of course I don't want to get RID of my dog. But I have to vacuum a LOT. Then I roll the vacuum to the hall closet, put it away with a smile on my face, waltz into the living room, and the carpet is already black and fuzzy. We groom him, brush him, take him to pup scrub... there has to be another solution. I could shave him, but its cold out and the poor guy would freeze. Plus I don't know how therapeutic petting bare dog flesh would be. So that's out. I thought maybe I could roll him in glue, to keep the hair stuck to him. But then I had a vision of calling him for breakfast and Jackson running in with couch cushions stuck to his sides. So I am now on the hunt for a doggie pill that reduces or eliminates shedding.

2. A JETSONS GET READY MACHINE: C'mon you've all thought about it early in the morning when you're trying to shave, shower, hairdry, makeup, etc before you want to be out of bed. What if you could get on a conveyor belt like George Jetson and it would take you through all of the steps without lifting a finger? Its better than a carwash, and would make my life so easy.

3. A WEEKLY MAID: A girl's gotta dream right? Or better yet: ROSIE! (See: Jetsons).

4. NATURALLY FAST METABOLISM: I would still work out to be toned, but if I could eat even a few Christmas cookies without the fear of 4 extra ass dimples, life would be easier. For those weeks where I travel and eat restaurant food without enough excercise, just knowing that I won't gain 5 pounds automatically would really reduce my stress. Plus, spending a few hours less on working out would free up some time and #3 wouldn't be necessary.

5. REPLACING SLEEP WITH A PLUG: I can work on my computer while its charging. What if I could plug myself into the wall to recharge, while simultaneously catching up on Desperate Housewives and folding laundry? Even if I still needed like three hours of sleep, because I actually like a little sleep, I'd surgically add an outlet to my back. Hmmmmmmm.

6. A FETUS SITTER: Okay just hear me out. You can get a babysitter, but what if I could be like "here trusted lady/sister/mom, carry my unborn baby for a night so I can go to dinner and share a bottle of wine and then sleep through the night without peeing 8 times. I'll take it back in the morning and you'll make $100".

7. A PRIVATE PLANE: Roomy seats, go where you want on your schedule, avoid recirculated breath of a 100 strangers. Knowing that if there is pee on the floor of the "bathroom" because of ill-timed turbulence, at least you know whose pee it is. So many reasons this would make my life easier. Plus how fun would it be to like "lets hop on my plane and head to Cabo for the weekend." heck I'd settle for a Jetson's flying bubble car thingy.

Okay as I can't plug myself in, and I have to wake up early and get myself ready after waking up 8 times to pee, its time to go to bed. Busy day tomorrow, full day of work plus the need to vacuum and work out. Better go get my 7 hours.