Cleavage is a good sales tool

Tonight at our sales convention we were to wear something nice, something evening oriented. Businesslike but appropriate for an evening awards dinner. So, I packed a lovely black cotton dress that I purchased last summer, pre-pregnancy. Its not to short, or flashy, looks good with the baby bump, seemed perfect.

However I forgot about the tots. Pregnancy can bring out a lot of things: mood swings, peeing all time, acne, sickness, huge boobs.

Having no backup dress, I put on a sweater (that doesn't close in the front), brushed my hair forward, and ventured downstairs to a sea of 500 people. I looked down to the nametag on my lanyard and realized it fell neatly between and just below my pillows.

It was amazing how many people suddenly knew my name. Their eyes would glance down and to excuse their stare I'd get a bright "Hi Jessica!". "Hi, uh, Dave from the finance department who I've never met". I saved them all from embarrassment by wearing the nametag. I caught a few just blatantly staring. So intently that when I looked at them to let them know I caught their rubbernecking, they were so engrossed they didn't even notice they'd been made. I am not exaggerating for the sake of a story. So I would pull my sweater together and awkwardly hold it together until I needed release it to shake hands with someone.

I've been here for three days now, and until this point a greeting consisted of an extended hand, good eye contact, and "hi I'm Julie from Texas, what's your name?". This despite the nametag around my neck. Tonight, even women were saying "Hi Jessica" and forcing their eyes away from my jugs. "I'm Sally from Cleavage, Cleveland".

Today's Morale: Work+ second trimester = turtleneck.

Goodnight.