WANTED: Cushy Job

So I am watching Keeping up with the Kardashians. Make fun, with one kid in bed and one in the oven my social life has taken somewhat of a nosedive. Its weird, I don't get invited to do anything. Ever.

So here is what I take from this. They have so much money, Kim Kardashian can make her own fragrance. Their jobs are to be famous. Bruce Jenner is on the show and he is famous because he was a decathelete who had a lot of pretty kids (and clearly a lot of pretty plastic surgery) and does public speaking or something.

I'm a realist, I realize I'm not a Kardashian. But lets rewind to the era of cushy jobs. Now cushy jobs are like Dodo birds or VHS tapes or phones that plug into the wall. We know they existed at one time, we have a memory of them, but our kids will have no clue they ever existed. I vote we bring them back (cushy jobs, not VHS. Who wants to be kind rewind?).

I am working too hard for too little right now. I am a slave to freakin' corporate travel. If I sign a deal for hundreds of thousands of dollars I get a HUUUUUGE...

high 5. That is not rewardable by money any longer, but it'll make up for business that has eroded away due to the economy and sure that I get to keep my job and maybe get a little bonus. Last year I even got an email from an upper manager saying "great work"!

Recently we have been shopping for a preschool for Tatum. As we both work full time, she will be in full time preschool. The pricetag on fulltime preschool is a little astonishing, but I'm not worried. I showed them the email from the manager telling me "good job" for signing $200K in new business. That should pay for $10K worth of schooling right?

I'm still waiting to hear back.

So if anyone has sighted one of these so called cushy jobs, I will pay a reward. I'd like to put in roughly 30-35 hours of good, quality work. I want to be able to flex my negotiation and business muscles in that time and be challenged, but I don't want to feel the need to work nights and weekends to stay afloat. I want big money for big deals. If I'm delivering, I want payment. And I don't want those big deals to be that hard to come by. Something that people need/want/are willing to spend money on, happily. I want big orders with smiles. I want a car allowance, expense report, flexibility, no micromanaging, and of course 6 figures. If sighted, please let me know.

Thank you.